Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)

Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)
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Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)

Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence (PAGBV)
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Helpful Support ServicesSupport services for those affected by gender-based violenceLegal Aid SupportThe Facts about Gender-Based ViolenceToolkit 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violenceglobal UNITE network Newsletters

understanding Gender Based & Intimate Partner Violence

What is Gender Based Violence

What is Intimate Partner or Domestic Violence

What is Intimate Partner or Domestic Violence

Gender Based Violence is violence as a result of gender, gender expression, gender identity or perceived gender.


GBV is not limited to physical violence and can include any word, action, or attempt to degrade, control, humiliate, intimidate, coerce, deprive, threaten, or harm another person. GBV can take many forms including cyber, physical, sexual, societal, psychological, emotional, and economic. Neglect, discrimination, and harassment.

 

GBV can also include:  

  • Intimate partner violence (IPV) or Domestic Violence: violence or abuse within a marriage, common-law or dating relationship that happens at any time during a relationship, including while it is breaking down or after it has ended
  • Child Abuse / Maltreatment: emotional maltreatment, neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and exposure to violence happening in the family
  • Violence against Seniors: victimization of an older adult by a family member, or by a non-family member on whom the older adult is dependent
  • Harmful practices: underage or forced marriage, female genital mutilation/cutting, and violence committed in the name of “honour” / honor killings, forced abortion and forced sterilization, trafficking for sex or slavery, stalking 


What is Intimate Partner or Domestic Violence

What is Intimate Partner or Domestic Violence

What is Intimate Partner or Domestic Violence

"Domestic or Intimate Partner Violence is a form of gender-based violence that often plays out at home. It includes intimate partner violence, sexual assault, emotional abuse, child abuse,  elder abuse among others.  Women, girls, and trans and non-binary people are at highest risk of this kind of victimization. "https://canadianwomen.org/


Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviour used by one person to gain power and control over another person with whom they have or previously had an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can include physical, sexual, emotional, financial/economic, technological, legal and psychological abuse and intimidation.


 Incidents are rarely isolated, and usually escalate in frequency and severity. 


Domestic violence can culminate in serious physical injury or death.  Approximately every six (6) days, a woman is killed by her intimate partner in Canada.  


Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, faith or class

Physical Abuse / Violence

What is Intimate Partner or Domestic Violence

Emotional & Verbal Abuse / Violence

 PHYSICAL ABUSE/ VIOLENCE - Any act which causes physical harm as a result of unlawful physical force.  It can include but not limited to:

  • Pulling or ripping out hair
  • Strangling
  • choking
  • slapping
  • kicking
  • punching
  • using objects as weapons
  • Biting
  • Spitting at or near partner
  • Throwing objects at or near partner
  • Subjection to reckless driving
  • Using household objects as weapons
  • Threatening partner with weapons
  • Non-consensual rough play (i.e. martial arts, MMA, self-defense techniques)
  • Abuse that results in lacerations, broken bones, internal injuries or miscarriage
  • Abuse that lead to disfigurement or disability or death
  • destroying property.


Domestic violence can be lethal. Death is always possible as an accidental outcome of the violence. Approximately every six (6) days, a woman is killed by her intimate partner in Canada.

 


Emotional & Verbal Abuse / Violence

Financial or Economic Abuse / Violence

Emotional & Verbal Abuse / Violence

EMOTIONAL AND VERBAL ABUSE - Any harmful emotional or verbal or psychological acts and/or behaviors. It can include but not limited to:

  • Continually criticizing, calling names, or shouting  
  • Threatening to kill you, your children, other family members or pets
  • Threatening to commit suicide
  • Humiliating and degrading you; 
  • Forcing you to do something you don’t want to; 
  • Isolating you from family and friends, or confining you to the house or refusing to socialize with people who are important to you
  • Taking car keys, cell phone, or other means of communication away
  • Ignoring a your feelings
  • Ridiculing or insulting you or women as a group
  • Ridiculing or insulting valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class
  • Withholding approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment
  • Regularly threatening to leave or told to leave
  • Not allowing access to basic needs (toiletries, medication, etc.)
  • Abandoning you in dangerous place
  • Threatening to hurt or kill family members
  • Punishing or depriving the children when angry
  • Threatening to kidnap the children
  • Abusing, torturing or killing pets
  • Harassing partners about imagined affairs
  • Manipulating partners with lies and contradictions
  • Destroying furniture, punching holes in walls or breaking appliances
  •  Gaslighting” or “Crazy-Making” abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into distrusting his or her own memory and perceptions.  Soon the victim is scared to bring up any topic at all for fear they are "wrong" about it or don't remember the situation correctly. It makes victims question the very instincts that they have counted on their whole lives, making them unsure of anything. 

Sexual Abuse / Violence

Financial or Economic Abuse / Violence

Financial or Economic Abuse / Violence

SEXUAL ABUSE – Any sexual act performed on an individual without their consent.  It can include but not limited to:

  • Rape or sexual assault,
  • Birth control sabotage or reproductive coercion 
  • Forcing you to strip,
  • Forcing you to have sex with someone else
  • Using      a sexual derogatory name
  • Forcing      a partner to become a sex worker or prostitute
  • Accusing      a partner of promiscuity
  • Forcing      a partner to watch pornography, or the abusive partner having sex with      others
  • Subjecting      the partner to unwanted touching
  • Forcing      a partner to participate in any form of unwanted sexual activity
  • Biting,      pinching or hurting a partner with objects during sex
  • Sexually   assaulting a partner
  • Using threats, intimidation, or physical force to force you into unwanted sexual acts.  

Financial or Economic Abuse / Violence

Financial or Economic Abuse / Violence

Financial or Economic Abuse / Violence

 FINANCIAL or ECONOMIC ABUSE / V IOLENCE -  

Any financially harmful act or behaviour.  It can include but not limited to: 

  • Restricting your access to financial resources, 
  • Education or the labour market 
  • Not complying with economic responsibilities
  • Damaging property 
  • Having all bank accounts in the abuser’s name, 
  • Controlling how, when, and where money is spent, 
  • Assigning an allowance (often very small or unrealistic cost of living)
  • Denying the right to work outside the home or make any financial contribution to the family, 
  • Controlling all or most of the finances,
  • Misusing a partner’s name for financial reasons, 
  • Forcing partner to sign documents against their will, such as taxes, immigration papers or other important documents

 

Legal Abuse / Violence

Technological Abuse / Violence

Technological Abuse / Violence

LEGAL ABUSE – Any harmful act or behaviour using the Courts or Police or Children Aid society or Immigration Canada or other authorities to threaten, harass, dominate or control.  It could include but not limited to:


  •  Filing for protection orders against you and/or your friends or family
  • Filing contempt motions against you for no reason
  •  Starting custody battles
  • Describing you as an unfit parent and/or requesting mental health evaluations
  • Filing unnecessary ("frivolous") motions, appeals, motions for revision, or motions for reconsideration, forcing you back into court
  • Trying to bring closed cases back into court (“relitigate”)
  • Trying to relitigate in different courts (switching jurisdictions)
  • Using the court's discovery requests and/or using the discovery process to bring up embarrassing or irrelevant information about you, and/or taking up a lot of your time and money with large discovery requests
  • Dragging out court hearings, harming you financially and/or emotionally
  • Refusing to obey court orders, forcing you to spend time and money to enforce the orders
  • Threatening to report you to immigration authorities
  • Making false reports to Child Protective Services (CPS)
  • Falsely claiming you abuse drugs or alcohol
  • Suing you for reporting abuse
  • Suing or threatening to sue anyone who helps you, including family, friends, advocates, attorneys, and law enforcement officers
  • Filing complaints against the judge or your lawyer

Defamation/ slander

Technological Abuse / Violence

Technological Abuse / Violence

Technological Abuse / Violence

TECHNOLOGICAL ABUSE –Technological Abuse – Any harmful act or behavior using technology.  It can include but not limited to:

  • Restricting and monitoring phone and internet access
  • Hacking into phone, email and personal accounts
  • Online stalking
  • Threat to publicly share intimate photos or videos

Spiritual Abuse / Violence

Technological Abuse / Violence

Spiritual Abuse / Violence

SPIRITUAL ABUSE – Spiritual – Any harmful act or behavior using  religious or spiritual beliefs to manipulate, dominate, and control you.

 Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse can happen within a religious organization or a personal relationship.  It can include but not limited to:

 

  • Using scripture or beliefs to humiliate or embarrass you
  • Coerce you into giving money or other resources that you didn’t want to give
  • Shame, make fun of, or ridicule your religious beliefs or practices
  • Prevent you from practicing your religion in the way you would like
  • Use your beliefs to manipulate or bully you
  • Demand that your children be raised with/without a certain religion
  • Use religious texts or beliefs to justify other kinds of abuse (physical, sexual, financial, etc.)
  • Using scriptures or religious beliefs to control your clothing or behavior or sexuality or decision making or choice to have children or not or finances


Frequently Asked Questions(FAQ)

What to do if you believe your electronics are being monitored

 

Electronic Tracking Safety

Computers keep a record of the places you visit on the internet and the emails you send. There is no sure way to delete all this information.

As well, the company that provides your internet connection and your email service will have a record of your online activities.

If you think someone is watching what you do when you are NOT using a computer, such as when you go out or who you call on the phone, then they may also be watching what you do on the computer.

Use a Safer Computer

If you are concerned about this and you must use a computer, it is best to use a computer that this person won't have access to -- such as a friend's computer or a computer at work.

Or you could use a computer that has many other users. This way your activities will be mixed up with other people's online activities. You could use a computer at a library or a community centre.

Use Caution When Writing on a Computer

You should also be very cautious if you use email, Facebook, Twitter and other online communication. Anything you write on a computer will create a lasting record on the computer and on the internet and you won't be able to control who reads that record.

Clearing Your Browser History

You can hide some of your internet activities by making changes to your computer's browser. The "browser" is the computer program that lets you see websites. Some browsers are Internet Explorer (IE), Firefox and Chrome. The name of the browser will often be in the upper left hand corner of the screen.

The following are general guidelines for removing information from the browser history. Browsers vary depening on the type and version you are using. You can also search for instructions on the internet for "clearing browser history".

Internet Explorer:

  • Go to "Tools" at the top of screen and select "Delete Browsing History".
  • You will need to check the various boxes to ensure that your activities are deleted.
  • This will also delete all the activities of anyone who has used the computer.

Firefox:

  • You can delete your most recent activities by going to "Tools" and selecting "Clear recent history."
  • You can delete past activities by clicking on "History" at the top of the screen. You will see a list of the websites you have visited (this may be listed by day or month). Click on the website you want to remove from your history and hit the "delete" button on your keyboard.

Chrome:

  • Click on "History" at the top of the screen and select "Show Full History".
  • Click on "Edit items..." on the right side of the screen.
  • You can now check the boxes next to the websites you wish to remove and click on "Remove selected items", or you can select "Clear all browsing data..." to remove all information about the web pages that have been visited.

Source: https://www.femicideincanada.ca/hide

What to do if you or a family member are being abused?

  If your spouse or partner or a family member is committing violent or threatening behaviour towards you or another family member, including a child you should:

  • call 911 and tell them what is happening. Even if you are unable to speak, do not disconnect the call
  • make noise to encourage neighbours to call the police
  • teach your children to call the police
  • try to leave and if you have children, take them with you
  • If you suspect that a child is being abused or needs protection, besides calling the police you have a duty to report your concerns to your Children Aid Society.  


Safety plan

Create a safety plan for you and your children. To find support services in your community who can help you create a safety plan, visit the following websites:

  • https://sheltersafe.ca/
  • Ontario Women’s Directorate
  • Victim Services Directory

Or contact:

  • Victim Support Line
  • Assaulted Women’s Helpline
  • Fem’aide

Things to do when preparing to leave:

  • open a bank account in your name only and make sure that bank statements are not mailed to you
    • save as much money as you can
    • set aside money for a taxi and money for pay-as-you-go cell phones
  • if you have no money and no place to stay, you may be able to get income support, subsidized housing, legal aid and free counselling
  • plan your emergency exits
  • always keep emergency phone numbers with you
  • hide extra clothes, house keys, car keys, money and other important items at a trusted friend's house or another safe place
  • collect yours and your child or children’s important documents and identification:
    • passports
    • birth certificates
    • citizenship or permanent resident card
    • immigration papers
    • health card
    • driver’s license
    • social insurance number

If you must leave in a hurry, try to take:

  • car keys and house keys
  • identification and other important documents
  • prescriptions and other medicines
  • banking information
  • emergency suitcase, already packed
  • special toys and comforts for your children
  • contact your child’s school to update them on their ability to attend school, or on any other pertinent information that could be shared

If you are looking for information about services for women who have experienced violence, visit the Ontario Women's Issues Directorate.

Why doesn't victims of domestic violence leave right away?

 In the early stages, a victim often does not realize she or he is in an abusive relationship. By the time the victim recognizes the signs, there are usually many barriers to leaving in place. Barriers may include:

  • Fear for safety
  • Isolation from community support and resources
  • Cultural or family pressure to stay
  • Financial dependence
  • Concern for children
  • Fear of deportation
  • Fear of the criminal justice system
  • Shame and guilt
  • Hope that the abuser will change
  • Love

What do I do if I’m worried about my mental health?

It is important to talk to someone you trust and your doctor. In addition to talking to someone, it may be useful to find out more information about what you are experiencing. 

How does this pandemic affect my mental health?

While any change to our regular day or routine can affect our mental health, this situation is doubly challenging because news of the pandemic is virtually inescapable, and there’s no clear end date. Right now, being worried and anxious is perfectly understandable. We can break down what’s happening by looking at the psychology of anxiety. There are three big predictors of how stressful something is going to be: (1) how predictable it is, (2) how much we can control it, and (3) how important it is to us.

With COVID-19, we’ve got a situation that checks all three boxes. There’s a lot we don’t know, we have relatively weak controls (e.g., hand washing, physical distancing), and it’s really important ꟷ even lethal in the worst case. So we shouldn’t be surprised at our heightened reaction.  (Mental Health Commission of Canada) 

How can I monitor my mental health and when should I be concerned?

Each person will react differently to situations, what you need to understand isn’t what’s “normal” but rather what’s healthy for you. Keep an eye on how you’re feeling or what might trigger negative responses. The Mental Health Commission of Canada also has a great resource, called the mental health continuum model. It’s a simple tool that presents a series of emotional, cognitive, behavioural, physical, and substance use indicators. These indicators can be used to measure positive-through-deteriorating-to-poor mental health, and changes in personal functioning. Colour-coded as green (healthy), yellow (reacting), orange (injured) and red (ill), the indicators are paired with their corresponding colours to help you understand when it might be time to ask for help.  (Mental Health Commission of Canada) 

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"Mental Health is not Mental Illness" Lesline McEwan, RP, MA, CAMF    Copyright © 1999 Prevent and Address Gender Based Violence - All Rights Reserved.

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